How to Stop Focusing on What You Don’t Have, and Start Working with What You Do Have

In today’s world, a lot of people feel unhappy or unfulfilled. One of the big reasons for this is a belief many of us carry: we think we always need to be improving. 

Maybe you feel like you have to earn more money, get healthier, become more successful, or learn new skills constantly. And while growth and improvement aren’t bad things, the idea that we must always be getting better can create a lot of unnecessary stress and unhappiness.

The truth is, you don’t really need to have everything figured out before you start working toward your goals. Sometimes, the best way to grow is to simply begin. You don’t need to be perfect from the start, and you don’t need to compare yourself to others who seem further along.

In fact, comparing your situation to others can make things even harder. Just like in gardening, you can create something beautiful by focusing on what you already have and making the most of it.

We live in a culture that celebrates achievement. Advertisements and the people around us often highlight success stories. You may see individuals with beautiful homes or great jobs which can lead to feelings that you’re not doing enough.

This constant comparison prompts thoughts of needing to catch up. We might begin to believe that if we’re not improving or reaching the next level, we’re failing.

However, the reality is that there will always be someone who appears to be doing better. Someone will always have a bigger house, a more exciting job, or a more glamorous life, and that’s perfectly okay! Focusing solely on comparing ourselves to others will prevent us from feeling satisfied because there’s no definitive finish line.

This mindset can instil a fear of starting something new. We may think, “I’ll never be as good as that person, so why bother?” This creates a cycle of inaction and frustration. Instead of growing, we find ourselves stuck because we’re too preoccupied with what we don’t have.

The good news is that the solution to this problem is simple: 

stop focusing on what you don’t have, and start working with what you do have. 

You don’t need to be the best or have the most resources to make progress. You just need to take the first step.

Think about it this way: no one becomes an expert overnight. If you want to learn to cook, you don’t need a fancy kitchen or expensive tools to get started. You can begin with the basics, like a cutting board and a knife, and learn as you go. 

The same is true for any goal you have. Whether it’s starting a business, getting healthier, or pursuing a passion, the key is to start small and improve along the way.

What often holds us back is the belief that we need to be perfect or have everything in place before we begin. But perfection isn’t real. Growth comes from doing, making mistakes, and learning as you go. The people you admire, the ones who seem like they have it all together, didn’t get there overnight. They started somewhere, just like you can.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on what you have and what you can do with it. 

You might not have the biggest “plot of land” (literally or metaphorically), but you can still create something beautiful with what you’ve got. The key is to stop looking at what other people are doing and start paying attention to your own journey.

Gardening is a wonderful metaphor for life, growth, and happiness. 

Imagine you have a small garden to work with. It’s easy to look at your neighbours yard and think, “Wow, they have so much more space than I do. Their garden must be amazing.” 

You might even feel discouraged, thinking that your little plot of land could never measure up.

But here’s the truth: even a small garden can be beautiful and fruitful if you take care of it. Instead of wishing for more land, focus on what you can do with the space you already have. Plant flowers that bring you joy or grow vegetables that nourish your body. 

Gardening also teaches us that growth takes time. You can’t plant a seed and expect it to bloom the next day. It needs sunlight, water, and care to grow. 

And just like plants, we grow best when we’re patient with ourselves. You don’t need to rush or force improvement. 

By tending to the things you already have: your skills, your strengths, your opportunities, you’ll naturally see progress over time.

So, how can you take these lessons from gardening and apply them to your own life? Here are a few steps to get started:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others: Remember that everyone’s life is different. Just because someone else seems to have more doesn’t mean their life is better. Focus on your own journey.
2. Start small: You don’t need to do everything at once. Pick one small goal and take the first step toward it. You can always build from there.
3. Work with what you have: Instead of waiting for the “perfect” time or resources, use what’s already available to you. You might be surprised by how much you can accomplish.
4. Be patient: Growth takes time. Don’t expect overnight results. Celebrate small wins and trust the process.
5. Tend to your own garden: Whether it’s your skills, relationships, or personal goals, focus on nurturing what you already have. With time and care, you’ll see growth.

The pressure to always improve can feel exhausting. Just remember, happiness isn’t about having the biggest garden or being the most successful person. Instead, it’s about appreciating what you already have and making the best of it.

Even if you dream of something bigger, that’s amazing! Just believe in it and manifest it, but start taking action now. Your future self will be grateful.

So, plant the seeds of action, take care of them with patience, and watch your life flourish. Just like gardening, you don’t need everything to be perfect to create something beautiful. You just need to begin. As you start, you’ll see that growth happens naturally, step by step.

Take care! 💚